October 18, 2019

This November 14th, which is Sadie's 5th birthday, our family will continue our tradition of celebrating and honoring Sadie by volunteering and donating to an organization that benefits children. This year we will be volunteering with the Charlotte Migrant Assistance Project (M.A.P.), a group that provides food, clothing and toiletries to asylum-seeking Central American migrants recently released from detention centers in Texas. The migrants travel by bus to family or friends along the East Coast and stop in Charlotte for a brief layover, often with nothing more than the clothes on their back. That's where M.A.P. steps in. Th...

November 15, 2017

Yesterday Sadie would have turned three. I can only wonder what she would have been like, what her interests would be, what she would have wanted for her birthday. For the rest of my life, all I will be able to do is wonder. And that hurts like hell.

We continued our tradition of celebrating Sadie on her birthday by having cake and blowing out a candle for her, and doing something with the boys to benefit kids. This year we brought donations and dinner to a local youth shelter called The Relatives. The Relatives provides a SAFE place for youth aged 7 to 17 who have runaway from home, are homeless, or who are experiencing other...

September 5, 2017

A huge thank you to everyone who donated and/or came out to walk/run at the Heart of a Warrior 5K in honor of Sadie on September 2nd! Our family was touched to see so many of our friends and family there to support us. With close to 200 attendees and $5,000 raised, this year's Heart of a Warrior was a huge success! 335 Heart Foundation (335) raised enough to help several families who applied for grants for assistance with financial needs due to long hospital stays and funeral costs. Our family is happy to be part of an organization that helps families when they need it most and we are so touched that this year's event was ded...

June 12, 2017

We are honored to have been able to share Sadie's story as part of a documentary created by Ross Fimoff of QuarterMoon Video. We were connected with Ross over a year ago through our grief counselor. For years Ross had wanted to make a documentary about child loss and the grief journey that follows. He and his wife lost their first-born child, a son named Brett, only a few days after Brett's birth, so the creation of this video was very personal for Ross. The video features two families, us, and another family whose daughter, Samantha, was stillborn after a completely normal pregnancy. The documentary tells the story of our tw...

March 6, 2017

During the two-day conference in D.C., which was put on by the Pediatric Congenital Heart Association, I was able to share Sadie's story on the Hill to advocate for NIH research funding and CDC data collection. I want so badly for all the CHD advocacy that I've thrown myself into since Sadie died to not only help others, but also to make me feel better. To make me feel like I'm honoring Sadie by sharing her story. It's hard to go to walks and conferences where most of the parents there are advocating for their child who is still fighting, who is still here. It's just as hard to see the kids that are thriving as it is to meet...

November 14, 2016

Dear Sadie,

Today is your second birthday. I feel great sadness and anger that you are not here with us to celebrate. That I will continue to be robbed of a lifetime of memories with you. That the memories I do have of our time together are still so clouded by the trauma that surrounds them that they continue to be largely inaccessible. Living in a post-Sadie world is hard at best. It was not that long ago that the thought of living another day was excruciatingly painful. But time has allowed me the space to begin to learn how to live again.

I can’t give you gifts today. You are not here to receive them. So instead, I want to t...

August 15, 2016

As we embark on our journey to a new life in Charlotte, NC, we not only leave behind the city where Matt and I started our careers, made our life-long friends, began our lives together, bought our first home, and brought our three children into the world, but we also leave the only place on Earth that Sadie ever existed. To say that this move is tough is an understatement. We know that this move is necessary for us, but I can't help but feel that we are leaving Sadie behind. True, part of the reason for moving is to get out of the city and into a community with good schools and a yard for the boys, but I would be lying if I s...

July 30, 2016

During the month of July, the Pediatric Congenital Heart Association ran a blog series focused on the importance of transparency. We contributed a blog entry titled The Importance of Information to Support Shared-Decision Making in which we share our experience with a lack of information and transparency, and make suggestions as to how providers can do better. We continue to hope that sharing Sadie's story will bring about positive change for other children and families. Thank you to the Pediatric Congenital Heart Association for allowing us to share our story.

June 13, 2016

Team Sadie's second year at the Chicago Congenital Heart Walk was a huge success! Thanks to our amazing friends and family, Team Sadie raised almost $10,000. 

THANK YOU to everyone who helped us celebrate Sadie yesterday. As time moves me further away from the days when I was able to hold her in my arms, one of my biggest fears is that the world will forget her. Saturday was a huge reminder of how many lives Sadie has touched and how lucky I am to have such amazingly supportive, generous and loving family and friends. Thank you for your donations, for coming out in 90 degree weather to walk with us, for your kind texts and mes...

December 7, 2015

Dec 6, 2014: Sadie's last photo

 

One year ago today would be the last full day I would spend with my daughter. She was a little over three weeks old and had already been through so much. Heart surgery. A total of 15 days in the Cardiac Care Unit hooked up to monitors and stuck with countless needles. I couldn’t wait to get her home again after an unexpected three days back in the CCU. Sadie came home again on December 5th, this time with oxygen and a prognosis that was looking less straightforward and optimistic than it had only a week before. I will always wish I would have spent more time with her on this day one year ago, b...

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